And so, I keep standing

5 Jun

Sometimes I just want to scream, “I’m human too!”

God is showing me that the words that were spoken came from a broken vessel.  They were hurting.

Names.  Accusations.

They are not me.  Only God gets to call me names – and He has called me His.  He calls me redeemed.

I am not accused.  I am the righteousness of God.  I am covered by the blood of Christ.

It doesn’t mean I haven’t made mistakes.

But God is strengthening this frame.  He is teaching me that while I am strong enough to fight back, while I am “entitled” to defend myself, that there is greater strength in choosing to let it go.

I am not a doormat.  I am no one’s vomiting station.

I can take up my life at any time.  But I lay it down.

But I will answer to no other name than who He says I am.

And I will choose to see past my hurt into the hurt of others.

But sometimes I just want to shout, “I am just a girl!”  I’m just a girl, in over my head, trying my best to do all that God has called me to do.  I’m trying to love my husband and raise up my children, educate my children, and pursue the dreams God has given me and minister to those He’s shown me…

I’m trying…

But some days…some days I just want to sit down and cry too.

And my feelings hurt too.

But then I remember – it’s not about me.

And God has gone before me.

And He fights for me.

And so I surrender my hurt, and release the tears if they may.  And I keep standing.  And I keep letting it go.

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